Don’t Let Your Relationship Become Toxic by Pabhotalks
As soon as the honeymoon period of any relationship ends the fights come into the picture. It may often seem like these fights are happening over nothing whereas there are deeply embedded unresolved grudges that they tend to hold for each other makes them do so. The realities and shortcomings that they used to ignore or unable to see earlier are now out in the open for them to consider. The expectation becomes the driver of your relationship than the realistic approach with acceptance of who they are. These unresolved issues are nothing more than misinterpreted communication happening over a period of time. Also the laziness that comes with their meagre egos to clarify the doubts that rise with such miscommunications. The distrust and disrespect tends to gain its position in your relationship with the thought of being unsupportive and undermined by your partner.
What causes simple arguments turn into big fights?
Our behavior is influenced with our life experiences and past. Everyone’s brought up is different and their psychological behavior makes them react in a certain way. They may be aware or not, about their reactions being the result of their experiences but the expectation make them look for faults in others than their own. We all must have heard the saying that,” it takes two to clap” but when it happens we don’t want to accept it. Dealing your relationship with compassion, perseverance and a little understanding with patience can make all the difference.
Yet many a times we see people in toxic relationships. It becomes toxic when there are more things happening than mere arguments and misunderstanding. This may include physical fights, emotional torture that makes you weary of your situation and fear, anger, anxiety starts to kick in. It starts creating a negative influence on your personality and you tend to lose yourself in it. Before you can realize how deeply you are affected by this unhealthy relationship you are in, your strength to bounce back to take the necessary measure to get out of it is long gone.
SO, what should you do to avoid such fights that can later turn your relationship into a toxic one.
Tips that can help you avoid such fights:
1. ACCEPT: The first and foremost thing is to accept that having arguments often in a relationship is normal. Also accept of who you both are and what made you a certain way. Pondering over thoughts of negativity can lead to undesired ending.
2. DON’T OVERTHINK: Sometimes the statements we encounter in an argument are not said to mean them but are a result of sheer anger. Lingering on to such thoughts can turn your relationship upside down.
3. PAY ATTENTION: Often the underline cause of your fight may be the attention or understanding that your partner is seeking. So try to identify the root cause of the argument that led you to this fight.
4. CALM DOWN: When having an argument we don’t realize we just want to out our frustration of not being heard or understood. A heated discussion is of no use. So to reach some closure first calm down yourself to think clearly and discuss it later.
5. HOLD THAT THOUGHT: We all want to be seen and recognized and when it doesn’t happen the misconstruing and torment result in furious responses which can only hamper the relationship further.
6. BE OPEN: We want the understanding but don’t want to say it out loud of what we desire because it makes us vulnerable. As difficult as it may feel to put your guard down during a conflict but this mindful consideration will interrupt the destructive cycle of conflict and will rather bring to close towards your partner.
7. BE HONEST WITH EACH OTHER: You should strive to be honest with each other no matter what. Honesty can help you find the cooperation of your partner and admiration towards your personality. This will make them trust you more which will strengthen your bond.
8. APOLOGISE: A meaningful apology can make a huge difference. Everyone makes mistakes and in rage you hardly have any control over what you say that can be mean and severely damaging to your relationship.
9. STOP THE BLAME GAME: It very easy to blame the other for your own actions and it hardly helps. Owning up to your own actions responsibly will show your willingness to resolve the issue rather than trying to victimize oneself by playing the blame game.
Life is not a bed of roses and our challenges shape us into who we are. We are our own masters to decide on who we want to become. Mutual respect towards each other and dealing with patience and perseverance will bring out the best in us to have a long healthy loving relationships. Peace yourself out with a little humor in your arguments and act supportively. Reaffirming each other of your love, dedication and support will pave the way for a happy life.